Sat - 11-29-08 -

The Project - I have been on Icarus since 2005, I really believe in the whole concept of us coming together to show that not following the normal thoughts and actions of society are not necessarily a bad thing.  I have read and been exposed to thoughts and concepts of issues I can really relate to on this site, but never really could figure out the proper perspectives to relate it to anyone.  I think that the ideas being explored here are of great social and social process values and really appreciate you folks that keep this up for when we all need to 'utilize' it's services!!! ^o^

K... here goes... Number 1 - Ugggh! Thanksgiving... New boss on Monday! Freaking bills pilling up! Holidays and happy people are around the corner everywhere!!! I am most unhappy over the rest of the year until after new years.  That's over a month!!!  Work will be hell! The kids are going to get very demanding this month (I feel it in my bones) and I have ended up in some financial quandries as of this weekend!!!

I have a bit of work to do... but the worst time to do it!!!! I don't want to go outside, I've given up on meeting women and I have an odd feeling I'm going to catch a stray bullet everytime I go to the store!!!! Arrrgh! That bother's me! Maybe there is a bit of paranoid delusion coming on...crap!!!! 

OK -- Really here goes.  I have had a long and extremely tumultuous life.  I am now 43 years old and still do the exact same things I did at 19!!! What's up with that? I have always held a job and have been very successful in the IT business, (so far)... I've always led a fairly simple personal life, but often been seduced into some very intricate and tricky situations.  I've always tried to be 'better', but never get good enough!!!  I remember far to much about my past and cannot but survive in my future. It is what momma would've wanted me to do!

I can speak of being insane since I can remember?  I can attempt to devulge my entire childhood trauma into adulthood or just keep on rambling about b.s!!!!?!?!? This is 'my blog' right? LOL! 8)~

I am going to start at the beginning...

I guess my first ‘real’ memories where in Ohio.  I seem to remember some road trips when I was younger, but I know I remember Ohio.  I was 2 or 3 I guess.  We lived upstairs from a grocery store, I think it was my dad’s brother’s store.  I remember card games and drinking at nite.  I remember we ate raw potatoes and hid them in a hole in the back of the closet!!!! Hahaha! They had two kids, a boy and a girl.  No idea much about that, just a fragment… Then there was the day Jessy gave me the air gun (which I never got to play with) with the handle cocked and says, “here have a shot”.  I shot it and the handle came back and smashed my pickie finger!!!! Damn I still remember how bad that hurt!!!! I remember it was like two flights of stairs to our apartment and my blood dripping on the stairs as I ran upstairs to tell on Jessy!!!  I have a couple of more stories about Ohio, but I am getting to trashed to write properly. Remember the gun thru the window and bobby punching jeese’s tooth out. LOL!!!!