A Dull Brightness
Submitted by clashplate on Sun, 09/02/2007 - 7:48pm
Once there lived a star, shining brightly, far away. Beautiful to those who looked at her, she wasn't looking at them, she was shining to herself. She wiggled this, and jiggled that, shimmering. When she oomphed she sparkled and when she zoomphed she got brighter and when she wallomphed she changed colors (this, in the business, was called 'dazzling'). The star was just fine being herself about the universe.
One day a planet went by. 'Hello' said the star in her way (twinkling- so next time don't forget to say hello back). The planet sailed by. The star, usually content by herself now had a comparison- where there could have been a hello there wasn't. It felt empty- she didn't really know what that was. She took some of her energy to, instead of going where she went, go after the planet. “'Hello' I said” she said. 'Hmmphmmph' said the planet, huffily and busily- it was focused on something else. The star was fascinated. What could be so interesting it was more interesting than being kind? She looked at what the planet was looking at... it was another star, far away. Now the star knew that in some was she was coordinating with other stars but she didn't give it much thought. That's just how things go. But the planet was hinging itself on this other star, circling it- and it takes a lot of energy to overcome one's personal momentum to orbit something else. At some point, as the star was curiously folowing the planet intensely following the other star she realized the planet was so intent on the other star, it wasn't even giving off its own light, it was merely reflecting the light of the star! How horrifying! From far away she hadn't been able to tell, but now it all made sense: so sparkle, no shimmer, no dazzle: just a dull brightness. It made her ill and a little dizzy. Then she realized she'd begun to do the same by following the planet following the sun! By this time she's given some energy to the planet, established a little bit of a relationship. Realizing the gravity of the situation she knew it would be difficult to pull away. Was it really so bad? She might hurt the planet's feelings- maybe she could get used to it- maybe she could forget how she is and become something she isn't. That's 'improvement' and 'progress' isn't it? Besides, it made the planet feel better to have her company, she thought.
Then star realized she had no idea what the planet wanted or felt, but she WAS sure of herself. So she pulled and spun, and stared at the planet, trying to figure out how to best get away. She searched its mountains for a peak moment to say goodbye, its oceans for depth- but look as she may the planet was always looking at the other star and so there was never a right time. Then star began to wonder why the planet wasn't looking at her- she spent some energy trying to catch it's attention. This went on for days- now there were days where before she just was! Now she was in relation to the planet- and related to herself as its idea of her. Finally she was so tired of trying to impress the planet, she stopped looking at it and looked at herself.
Immediately she disengaged! It was as simple as that. By the time she looked up, she couldn't even tell the planet from the other bright bodies... maybe she had been wrong about it... but however the planet was she was now re-notice how SHE was. Herself, again, dazzling, bright, beautiful.