I wish I had something really potently helpful to say, but all I can manage is, is that I'm sorry you lost your mom. I just typed and deleted a million things to say to you, because I have never experienced or been close to any one who has lost a parent. The people who died in my life were my friends who were mostly responsible for their deaths, but I know how full of pain and helpless I felt when they died. I hope you have a support system of friends or family you can go to and ask for help in the next upcoming months! Please hang in there, take it easy, it's going to be rough!