I  really hurt from this and i cant describe the depression i felt in my soul. i was living in the countryside at the time and i was alone but living with someone who worked during the day.

I just cant describe it. 

although i can say that that day i was suffering pretty badly from headaches (like having a constant hangover and not being able to think at all and feeling dizzy like you'll fall over and all these painful tensions and sensations in the head)  and i felt like the house was a maze i couldnt get through.....i was dizzy. i was in pain and about to have a migraine...in desperation i reached out for my small book on buddhism that is for emergencies like this one....it was strewn on the floor by the door (the house was in chaos from activities and creativity i couldnt remember). one of those "thought a day" on Buddhism- a small book type of thing.

i really got depressed that day.