I realized after reading something about Buddhism during my year of headaches etc....that made me think i could not become a buddhist ( i was serious about it, i wanted to) due to my head injury. i realized the mind is the most important factor in buddhism...and i understood that this meant i could never be a buddhist. i was flawed and useless. well, i was but this time i felt persecuted by god for the reason that i couldnt theoretically practice buddhism ever...i wouldnt be able to do it, really, i couldnt have at the time and when i most needed it and god in my life.