Just came back from this date with this 30ish guy And it was okay. And that's all. We kissed at the very end, but that's it. I have no desire to have sex with him. Well, right now I'm experiencing GI distress, so I guess I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone. But still. I started thinking about wanting to be with a girl when I left. I am a very confused person.

But everything is fine. I understand how this can be addictive. It's like a night of random conversation with someone. I really do want to go out with this genderqueer person. I feel like ze's the most likely in terms of me actually being attracted to someone. I just don't know.

Regardless of any sexual attraction, I think I'll keep going at this. There's a 40 year old guy who actually sounds very sweet. And a woman who sings. And a really kinky guy, who I sort of want to go on a date with, but I don't really want to fuck at all. And there's this guy I'm seeing tomorrow. So...yeah. Now I'm fully confident that I can get through this sort of thing. But the sex drive is down. And that's fine. I guess I'm just saying that everything is fine. And I mean it. It's not a "it's okay, I'm okay" sort of thing.

Right now I'm tired and I'm going to take a quick look over my to-do list and my calendar and plan out tomorrow. I just feel like something isn't quite resolved in my head. Whatever it is, I'll have to sort it out in the morning, or at group. It's time for bed now.