Okay, so I'm actually back again like I said I'd be. That almost never happens.

Maybe not really, but I'm just sick of being here. I like the quiet and the times where no one's around, but I hate the feeling that everyone is going to parties except me.

THis is not a good night to feel this way. I have reading to do, I have a quiz tomorrow morning.

Just to get it out of the way: I really should be doing homework right now. I have a midterm exam on Wednesday and I'm not fully confident on the essay questions.

I hate this so much. I feel fucking awful. I'm crying almost every day.  The only way I avoid it is by watching stand up on youtube until I'm too tired to do anything but go to sleep.

Fuckity fuck. I hate accidentally losing what I write here.

I hate wanting things I can't have. Or even if I'm not sure if I can have them. I think my shrink has remarked on that and suggested that wanting things you're not sure if you can get is healthy.