my friend, my vieja mejor amigita, is flying back from the middle east to montreal, she's going to be here in a couple hours... 12, i think. she was supposed to come next week, but her plans changed, and she had to fly out earlier.

because she sprung this on me, i've had very little time to think about it. i'm looking forward to seeing her, have visions of the beautiful artwork we will make together, etc. etc. but, for some unknown reason, i'm not happy about it. the last three days have been kind of weird, i've been very grouchy, and generally pretty sensitive. it showed really clearly today when i was watching the boys, i kept yelling at them, no patience at all. normally i have a lot of patience. so, anyway, i'm nervous about seeing my friend tomorrow, and nervous about this source-less grouchy mood. i've also had a headache for a while now. two days, i think. sometimes i can control my switches, and direct my mood to a more positive and constructive space, i'm just hoping i can do that by tomorrow afternoon. sometimes i think i have a self-constructed attitude "problem". and then other times, i realize that i --- (still so hard to admit this) --- have no control over how i feel. wonder which one this mood will be... an attitude problem, or an episode?

yay!

time to take benedryl, and fall asleep with hopes of a better tomorrow.