I've been irritable and tearful for over a month now. I often wake at 3 am and find it difficult to go back to sleep, but usually do get in another hour or two before I am awake for the day. I noticed several years back that I tend to get disturbed around Easter time. At the time I noticed it I tried to understand why and the only connection I could find in my head was visiting my father's grave many years around this time. I am now also wondering if the rise in pollen could have an affect on me. My dad had a psychiatric disorder and his orthomolecular psychiatrist thought he had high histamine. Mom had always given me antihistamines at night when I was a kid. I could try that; it could help the sleep and if high histamine levels affect mood, it may help that also. Usually I am disturbed also by my mood being contrary to the upswing of the season and everybody elses cheerful spring mood. But today the weather conspired to reflect how I feel; it is cold, grey and snowy outside. Usually I prefer sunny days, but today for some reason the picture out my window seems appropriate and calming. Maybe I should develop a mourning ritual around this time of year to accept how I feel and see if that helps me move on better into the sunny days.