So...I decided to end therapy...again. It feels like chinese torture to me and I'm pretty sure I'll never learn how to trust.

It's making me feel pretty despondent, but not as bad as I thought I would feel.

I had a really good class intervention where I was the therapist (I'm a student therapist) that the class and teacher was really impressed with. It restored my hope that maybe I will be good at this even though it never worked for me personally. It's weird to think that that would work, but I seem to have a knack and I don't think I'll never be able to partake in therapy myself, I just think it has to be the right person. This current one just isn't it I don't think.

So I'm not feeling as despondent as I thought I would feel. I am also going to try a therapy group which ill feel less threatening for me I think. Then maybe I can transition back to individual. That's the idea.

Other than that, I saw a naturopath to try and get my health under control...I have fallen back pretty hard into my eating disorder and need some help getting my physical health under control. I don't think I'll be able to do much with therapy until that happens. I was really happy to see that they were respecting my wish not to be medicated and were helping me find alternative treatments to the crippling depression I have been experiencing. They totally restored my faith in health care and I recommend naturopaths wholeheartedly. It was the best experience ever!

So they drew my blood and I will find out the results in 2 weeks. My BP and pulse were low and I was running a slight temp. So I expect my bloodwork to be a bit screwy but maybe not. Hopefully I can get my health back on track.

Squirr