crossposted , rewrittena little.

i fell asleep some more, forgot to wake up into a better reality and it seems it has shifted some again...i can't rely on it like a best friend or something, tho there are friends somewhere in there...and that was THAT reality and i may just go to a better one.

i need to read ray bradbury or something, well he was good to hear speaking once, on the future is better sort of thing. it's gotta be. i think justice is part of evolution. creation. however you look at it.

"reality is not my forte" says my friend and i am feeling quite the same...that is fine. i am true.

today the woodpeckers say strange things...but i am glad they are around, as loud as they are, punk rockers...they are.

sometimes outside looking in, sometimes inside looking out, sometimes somewhere between, sometimes no where to be found, sometimes, right in your face, sometimes, out of place, sometimes right on time

all i know is to be true
even if you tell a fib or two

the weather is fine. it is even rather quiet in this zone over here, in the arizona zone over here, it used to be full of screaming jets where you could not hear yourself think. now there is occasional rumbling underground...

at least i can hear the birds. they get upset too. they are helping me through. they come in waves, different kinds.

today they talked of the machinery of things...

someone injected something good into it, some good medicine, and somehow it spreads like a virus, and somehow, things get better in the outcome, that is all i know. i don't go to horror movies...already had enough of it...really honestly i could write some. i am actually deleting some. i don't think it is denial so much but a break on enough of that shit and it may be time for a news vacation again.

seems the news went on vacation anyways they make no sense today.

but when they make too much sense, they make no sense either.

so what the fuck. i like to hear from my friends what is going on...oral tradition when all that shit breaks down...even if it changes some...yeah some of the news is ok because it is connected that same way. depends...still i need another break. i can just look at it differently. i won't ignore things tho. just sometimes when i get really sick, i have to do some healing.

i wonder when the fuck they are going to get out of afghanistan.

-----later----

from roll call, saving here as it relates:

i can't always tell when i am perceiving the future or the past in this fluid reality...

the present? i don't know. the eyes and ears. etc take in stuff from the past. but the future has these flows going backwards...

sometimes that is healing. today something is wired strange in the the reality programming. so back to rewiring i guess. i want to read some star trek.

i am applying to join the bird people. the ants seem to have accepted me already. the birds are pretty nice but i need to work on my communication skills. they are sensitive.

mad love, nancy

------------later------------

outside, it is ok...good really. i just need some rest and i think i broke yet another toe.

no matter what i greet the day every day thank the sun and creation and all the birds, and all of the living, i sometimes just peek out and say "hi" to the mountains, but it is some how i just need to do that. it is right for me. i am grateful. saw too much worse could have happened and i am not gonna forget it no matter how bad it can get here and now. here and now shifts rapidly.