This is an all-new, all-private blog. Free from people I know in the real world so that I can be free to say what I actually need to say.

Not sure what other people use these blogs for, but I'll probably poke around a fair amount in the next few days. Personally, I'd like to use it as a space to record how I'm actually feeling from day to day. Something that I'll force myself to keep up and not delete.

That said, today was pretty good. The boy that sits across from me in one of my courses has been looking at me and then looking away when I look back. I find him really attractive and I'm hoping this could actually become something. Not a relationship, mind you. Just some nice sex or even a good friend.

It's been over a month since I had sex and my sex drive is not as I remember it. I'm also noticing a real resistance to going to see my psychologist. I just don't want to go. Tomorrow is my appointment day and I'm so tempted to "accidentally" miss it. But I've already done that once. I'm going to go tomorrow. And tie up some loose ends while I'm in that area.

This fully-secret blog thing is so unlike me. But these days I'm not really sure what's like me and what's like the me I used to be and if that me is an illusion or a dream or a delusion.....you get the idea.

This is me. "I am at home with the me. I am rooted in the me that is on this adventure. This is me breathing."

This is me breathing.