my mom just told me she has been trained to do restorative justice. it is modeled from the Maori people who live in small communities of families so they need everyone to be at peace or things fall apart.  however we don't have their culture nor cultural values, so restorative justice rarely works here.  she did say it would never be used where where was violence - domestic violence, rape, child abuse - because it is so unsafe for the victim.  the whole community must be witness and have their say in the process, but we don't have communities and no one shares the same values.  sometimes it is used with teenage offenders.

my ex's exgirlfriend now just sent me an email asking how i am - i have never even met her.  something really weird is going on now.  i finally told my friend that i cannot be her friend if she is in contact with him, i was at therapy today and talked about him for the first time and it was just disgusting and terrible and freaked me out.  i forgot what evil he is.  so i told my friend i cannot be her friend since she's in contact with him (they are emailing). she asked me to be patient with her, so she doesn't get it.  he treated her like dirt, i treat her great, but she says she has morbid curiosity about him.  she was in love with him for many many years too.  so i think i have to say goodbye to her.  i am sad.  how can a friend be in touch with an abuser of mine?  i would never do that.

i am trying to find a breast reduction plastic surgeon, wish i had done this in LA!  LOL.  I have no idea how to pick, i stare at their "work" endless breasts and cannot tell who is "good" but the pain is so crazy i cannot wear a bra or a necklace and i spend half the day in bed and the other half doing yoga and self mssage.  any suggestions on finding a plastic surgeon?  ugghhhh surgery, ughhhh!  bleh.  my therapist thinks that with this and the back issues and the cerebal palsey i should be at a pain clinic, but that just seems so weird.  my dad wouldn't even let us take asprin, he was a nazi about it, maybe because he was rasied christian scientist (even though it murdered his brother), and my dad would yell at me for needing dental check ups, so i have issues about seeing doctors and spending money on my health.  add to that the shame of New Agers - like i am giving in and creating a reality of pain by trying to get help, i shoudl be able to positive think the pain away.  god that crap messed me up.

hope you're having a good day.  the exhusband stuff has me very sad and tired, i am losing my friend.  when do the abusers go away?