I don't know if i told you all but I really liked my new psychiatrst Thakkar.  I asked my psychologist for a kind science based shrink who doesn't drug people unconscious, and got this guy.  He's actually on TV shows a lot I guess, my Mom recognized his face.

He did the intake and i started in on my epic list of meds that didn't help and at the end he said, "Yes but who are you besides a pill tester?" which I found funny.  He's an expert in ADHD and it helped so much.  In women with ADHD the PMS/PMDD is so much worse, the hormal change kicks the ADD chemical problem into hyperdrive, so we discussed that.  Also, I told him I never space out even though I have all the other ADHD symptoms and he said, "I think it is because you are so hypervigilant, I think fear is why you focus so intensely."  Now that the Celexa had taken my intense edge of paranoia away, I am spacier, it's weird.  I asked him why psychitraists at paych wards don't seem to believe in ADHD and he said that 1/4 of the psychiatrists work in E/R settings like psych wards and ADHD isn't seen as a crisis issue so they don't study it, so when I go to the psych ward that's why the doctors don't understand anything.  I told him how bad psych nurses want me off my ADHD medication saying it is making me anxious, but when I am off it I feel so lost and scared, it is horrible, and he said that anxiety is really common with ADHD for that reason. My reactions to medication and my chronic insomnia all made me a textbook ADHDer, which was a releif.  He said "If you had bipolar, being on Celexa and Adderall or Provigil would have made you manic a long time ago."  So no more having to worry about doctors messing my life up with that DSM 4 word.

What is interesting to me the most is that I had to have a lot of blood work done.  Evidentally there are lots of hormonal imbalances and vitamin defincines that can look like lots of things in the DSM 4.  And that all psychiatrists are supposed to rule those out before going to the DSM 4.  Some things he had checked are my thyroid, vit D, low level anemia, white blood cell count, and lots of things in letters that I don't know how to decipher.  He's famous for getting people off all psych meds, and part of it is because he finds that overmedicated people come to him and they don't even have a DSM 4 issue.  He did about 10 blood work tests.

Also he was very concerned about how I had to stop exercising because my c1 c5 and c6 in my neck have locked and I cannot move my head and the good physical therapist is away til march 3.  He kept saying that I needed to do anything to get the heart beating faster. I said "yeah the endorphins" and he said "Not just that, there are a lot of chemicals that your brain needs to make that it cannot do without exercise, and antiDs and ADHD medication can only do so much.  In the long run, exercise helps your emotional stability more than any drug."

He was also very concerned with crap that other bad psychiatrists had told me, and told me so.  It helped me with some things in my past, seeing I was right and to let it go.

My psychologist told me that in Thakkar's notes to him he wrote that he appreciated meeting me, which he has never done before, but he likes me.  My psychologist said he didn't think Thakkar would like me knowing that because the focus should be on me, not Thakkar's emotions, but Dennis my psychogist wanted me to know that people enjoy knowing me as a person, since I feel so hated and unlovable.  At the end, when I was giving the finger to the Dali Llama and his shit about how no one in Tibet got PTSD from the Chinese invasion and told the Dali Lama to fuck himsellf, Thakkar, with my huge lost of medical conditions, said "You are just far too funny to be so ill and in pain." It was nice.