lost soul
Submitted by paulevan on Mon, 09/17/2007 - 2:12pm
today i lost a letter. expirementing in it forever. everchanging never strange me i have been severed. she flew out of my reach. i watched her go, don't weep. i lost my reality, so long ago you see, i tend to have trouble . . .finding the real me. anybody listening? maybe one day you'll see, for now i don't feel free, what a shitty way to be. i think that my state of mind will change though, i wonder where it will go. winding like a serpent in a muddy river, wallow in the muck, until i get delivered. rearing up to face now, roundabout's become commonplace. metaphors and parables, and oh so spiritual. i know i know i know, but i just don't see it though. so now i must move on, in between, are the meds wearing off? i think i want to stop, kinda' funny but it's not, yes the everyday doldrums, little pills leave me feeling dumb, not allowed to love someone, too much feeling, too much fun . . .and they wonder why i run.
I step out on hope, but
I step out on hope, but sometimes I fear quicksand...
HELL yes we want to run, and run and run and run. I had a dream though were I ran and the wind began to pick me up and nothing could stop me, and in stead of feeling free, I felt fucking scared. When do these meds kick in, months, years--I don't know...I know wanting to run though and wanting to run far, far away. I know wanting to be free, and truly free from this dark cloud that hovers over me. Much peace to you my fellow comrade.