I Told My Mother
Submitted by Tarot on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 1:14pmI’ve been thinking about sharing something with you for a while. Based on conversations we have had recently I think you are ready to hear this now. I’m telling you this to help you understand me and the causes behind many of my struggles in life. Everyone in the world has pieces of every “disorder” to some degree, so this really is just a term to describe certain characteristics which happen to be particularly strong with me; things that I need to pay very close attention to in order to learn how to live a happy life and have healthy relationships with both myself and other people.
So, what I’ve wanted to tell you is that I’ve been diagnoses with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). My therapist believes that years ago I may have even had full on Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), which he considers an extreme case of BPD, but have recovered enough over the years for that diagnosis to no longer fit me. As much as this news might shock or disturb you, please try to get past that reaction and see that this is actually a very healthy thing for me. Much of the progress you have seen in me over the past 9 months has been from finally having this framework to learn about myself and understand why I am who I am. So many things about myself never made any sense to me, and now they finally do.
And yeah, there are gifts that come along with the curses of being a Borderline. My intellect, intuition, and perceptiveness are all gifts that I have specifically BECAUSE I’m a Borderline. So, I’m slowly getting to the point where I can feel thankful rather than plagued.
The internet has tons and tons of information on BPD. Feel free to ask any question you may have. I love talking about it since that is what helps me understand myself better.