I Feel like shit, thanx to whomever thats reading this, Im very messed up, been messed up for weeks, this is my first week on antidepresives, I never dared to go to see a psychiatrist in my life before, althou i had tried psychoterapy in 2 ocasions long story shot it didnt fukin work.

I live at home with my family, Except for my dad who moved out when i was 14, my mom doesnt belive me that i am bipolar and the psychiatrist either, he says he thinks i have ADHD instead althou i already told him i wasnt a hyperactive kid or anything like that.  Im getting blood tests tomorrow to bring it over my next apointment so we can see if we advance more regar the diagnon-sense.stupid

I FUKIN FEEL LIKE SHIT!!!!!!! THIS    IS    TORTURE.

I CANT SLEEP I FEEL WEIRD ALL THE TIME this fukin prozac or whateve ris not working! it only did for like 2 days and since then ive been feeling fukin worse. Im starting to feel totally insane, like a difrent kind of dementia from the one ive been knowing all my life. this is not me, I wanna drown on valium and sleep all day and night, i wish i didnt have to deal with ppl its so dificult. to seem barely ok to my family and friends consumes more energy that I have in me.

AND I FEEL VERY FUKIN LONELY. All of you guys are in the states or canada, you meet each other u hang out in person sometimes... I dont fukin have anyone here... one od the specie, Mexico is a fukin huge place to be alone. Im going out of my fukin mind.... the few friend i had here i lost.

NO ONE can help me, i wish they could but they cant and im so damn desperate, so alone so alone so alone so fukin endlessly alone. it hurts me to see the ppl i love like my mama trying to help me but she cant reach me.

I feel like crying all the time but im so fukin dead i cant even do it, its like my eyes have become so empty that not even tears are in there...

I FUKIN HATE FEELING LIKE THIS I DONT WANT THIS FUKIN WHATEVER GIFT ANYMORE... THIS    ISNT LIFE. IM MAD, IM FUKIN ANGRY YEAH IM PISSED OFF AND I FEEL NUMB, I FEEL LIKE IM SCREAMING TO THE WORLD THAT I FEEL LIKE A FUKIN NIGHTMARE 24-7 AND NO ONE LISTEN... THAT MAKES ME FEEL CRAZY, I TALK AND TALK I DONT LOOK OK I KNOW I FUKIN DONT BUT ITS LIKE NOBODY SEES THE MAGNITUD OF THIS PROBLEM, I FEEL IGNORED AND CRAZY I THINK IM ABOUT TO HAVE A FUKIN NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.