11 Years of MisDiagnosis
Submitted by AslanaKingsley on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:32pmWhen I was 12 years old I taught myself to be bulimic. I totally did it because the other girls I knew were doing it and I wanted nothing more than to fit in. I was starving for affection...and eventually...I was just starving.
When I was 13 years old I had my first suicide attempt and that's when I was diagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder.
There was no time for them to develop a history on me, no one took the time to examine why a 13 year old girl with a loving mom, a home, food, and everything like that would attempt to die.
I'm angry that no one asked why, I'm angry that I never protested against it. But then again, I was only 13 and I had no idea that this single event in my life would change everything so drastically.
I am now on the road of recovering from the years between 13-22. I'm turning 24 in less than a month and I feel great. I feel amazing, I feel healed and whole but now there is this huge issue looming in front of me.
My life, feels like it was never mine.
You cannot...although they do, give a young adolescent a title and not expect them to grow into it. You know in Disneyland they have these plastic contraptions, shaped like Mickey's heads...they grow vegetables in them so that when they slice cucumbers for the Disney land Salads, they're shaped like Mickey...no one is suprised. But when you do that to people and give them labels when they're growing..why are we suprised when they grow into them?
thats true
It was a very explicit methapore, but you have broken that label and the shape u were induced to grown into, for what u are saying... and thats the important.
Most ppl if not all are given lables as they grow up too, these labels fuck us over but it is a great moment of selfempowerment when we finally break through them and become ourselves.
A lot of times when we try to comit suicide or are seriously depressed ppl asks us why we feel that way and I personaly havent been able to acuratly express why in a way that makes sense to ppl who has never felt like that, even thou that it does suck that nobody asked u... did your mom ask you at least?
usually when ppl dont ask a question is because they probably dont wanna deal with the answer... but thats just my opinion.
So why did u try to kill urself at 13?
Hugs/Elie.
Self Destruct-secuence this Station is non operational.
At The Drive In.