I am drowning in gray skies, I need sunshine in my eyes. How am I supposed to have a good attitude and lots of energy when the sky is dumping slush on me? Yes, I am whining and crying in my tea. I am so worn out from the days of shoveling that when the sun does come out I am to tired to get out there and enjoy it unless I am shoveling out so I can get out with the car if I have to.

Oh God give me Spring.  I am putting one attitude foot in front of the other this week and pushing through this mental and literal gray cloud on top of me. Tonight I went out and brushed my horse for an hour and talked to her. If I do things at night then I can trick myself into not caring what the day looks like. Night is always dark. Cold or warm, night is always the same when I do things. The lights are on and they are consistantly light.

Wow, I 'm glad I'm writting more. I never thought of it that way before. No wonder I like being up and doing things at night! To bad I can't do all that shoveling in the dark. I have anemia also so I guess I should probably be getting more sleep. It would be nice if I could just do that. Well I can snuggle up with my dogs now and try I suppose. I think I am also in the wrong part of the country. Wrong time zone. If I was on the west coast my body clock would be about right. I would get tired at 11pm. That would be OK with me then I would get up and know what's the big deal about morning. Maybe I'm just fooling myself. I wouldn't fit in to the main stream anyway. 'Morning person' or not, I still would have to deal with gray days and on the west coast I couldn't afford to be alive.

The last couple days I have just been a mess mentally. I am sure glad I have all my animals to be with. They keep me from going all together 'under'  till I can get back to happy. Finding this place to write and maybe get some feedback is also helping. Thanks