In our nothing state, we are free to become anything? Are there no social roles constricting us? In this state are there no absolutes and anything can happen? Are we our own God? Are we responsible for our own birth?

Or is there a something to our nothing state. Do we begin with meaning in our pre-reflective consciousness? Are we born with an inner damien/acron? Does reflection simply deter us from our essence? Is individual meaning one of Apollo's traits? Or is it part of our Dioysian non-consciousness? I have essence and therefore I exist?? Or I exist and therefore I have essence?

Existentialism is supposed to emphasize the both/and way of life. A person can see both ends of the dichotomy as part of the same thing, part of the mystery.

But sometimes I can only understand the contradictions.