I hate wanting things I can't have. Or even if I'm not sure if I can have them. I think my shrink has remarked on that and suggested that wanting things you're not sure if you can get is healthy. That may be, but it's also painful. I find myself wanting a home base. I want to decorate a room and organize all of my stuff so it's easy to get to, not so it's easy to move. I want to see my shrink again and feel like I'm building relationships. And weirdly, I want to be able to fantasize about next summer. I'll be in NYC (living who knows where, possibly on some couches for a while), looking for a job, going on dates, making a life for myself. I'm really missing the guy, you know. I need to see him this weekend. Sunday was nice, but it wasn't enough. It's only Tuesday and I'm already looking forward to seeing him. Okay, it's the next day and that emotional high has certainly passed. I guess I still want to see him, but right at this moment I just want to take a nap. But I'm not going to because I'm going to reset my sleep schedule and sleep eight hours from 11pm to 7pm. I'm going to do all the boxes on my daily checklist. And maybe even get my hair cut (again) on the way home. That should make me feel a bit better too. I could be making it up, but it feels like the tiredness itself has a different quality to it. I'd like to take a nap, but I don't feel like I'm in a mental fog. Maybe. We'll see what happens after a week of good sleeping patterns.