This is a bit awkward, but I have been having an unstable day.  The thing is I am too happy, maybe a little excitable.  Everywhere I look I see the light shine in people and it is something I have long ago stopped looking for.  So why is it I see it now?  I had some words inspire me a time ago, and it opened me to this light.  I was happy before but I was not fulfilled, and these words fulfilled me.  It was not them in themselves but they were the fan that reignighted my flame.  The dream I have had, that I have, The promise I was given every moment I enter heaven, and the predominant thoughts that I swallow that came to surface and swallow me... these words appearing in my life as a gift, speaking as if for once I am not the only one.

Anyways I am left trepidious and scared and at the same time ecstatic and wistful.  I am always confused why happiness brings me fear.  Oh who am I kidding?  It is because it is an illusion, love is, always an illusion in which I am to wait, always left to wait, for the stars to collide and the miracle to form that will bring this gift to me.  It is something so sacred, so completing.  I am a battle scarred veteran in the search of love, I have fallen into the traps laid, promises broken, and lies spoken that have bruised my heart and leave me stronger.  I see it in the eyes of others, the spark I seek, and know this will leech from the aura of the one in which I seek.  But I see it everywhere, a little bit in all I meet, and just the thought of you has brought this on.  So what will happen if I find the source, if two lost souls running over the same ground, overcomming the same fears and seeking the same goals, inner peace, and a willingness to change the world, what will happen the day we find each other??

I still wait, and will forever, knowing right from wrong, heaven from hell, and lies from truth