I went to the Icarus meeting last night. I’m actually feeling hesitant to start writing this morning because I feel like words won’t do justice to the amazing beauty of this group and the experience they offer. I honestly feel more love and acceptance from this group than I have from years and years of contact with “normal” society. No judgment. No masks. No false identities. No reservations. No barriers. Just total absolute honesty, acceptance, compassion, understanding, and genuine love for each other. It is blowing me away. I felt like I could be myself, completely, all of me, including all those weird “abnormal” parts that I’ve always felt the need to reject and push away because they made me an outcast from society. Here, even those parts of me were welcomed and loved just for what they are. No, *I* was welcomed and loved for just how *I* am.

I’m sure I’ll be writing about this more over time. A lot more. This is very clearly my new home and community. For now, I’ll just mention one powerful thing that occurred to me this morning. The isolation I have felt all my life from being rejected by society has played a HUGE role in perpetuating my problems and my deviant behavior. In essence, much of my sociopathic tendencies have actually been CAUSED by the judgment I feel from society because I don’t fit into its narrow view of what is considered “normal”.