I am in love.

It's funny because it all happened so fast. A bit scary too but exhilarating all at the same time.

I call him my super boyfriend. Because its so true. Sure I havent dated all asshole but mostly and with Brian like he treats me right. Sure sometimes he does things I'm like arghh but I dont know he cares about me, like genuinely cares and when he says he loves me I cant help but believe it.

You know what he says a lot? He tells me I am amazing. Who does that? I mean to hear that on a regular basis is just amazing in itself. I dont think he realizes that he is the amazing one in this relationship however. He doesnt see what I see. I see someone who over came so much, he fought this battle within himself and look where he is now because of it. I dont know I guess I admire him. I am fighting so many battles and while I make progress I still get discouraged all too often. Plus he is just an incredable person, like who he is I genuinly enjoy who he is. Gah I could go on for days about him but I dont want this to be pages long.

We talk. We talk a lot. I love talking to him. Seriously, about anything and everything. He opens my mind, inspiration to the extreme. I dont know I just like talking, I like that he listens too, I really wish people would listen just as much as they talk.

Sometimes when I hear his voice my heart skips a beat, or I think about a memory and butterflies go crazy, or when we kiss or just when is hand touches my skin...I lose my breath. I like when his hand touches my skin.

I am still in this disease, but I am no long a victim of it. I fight back because that is all I know how to do. Even when I am drowning for no reason, I just have to remind myself that this is just for today and shit will pass, and if it doesnt, well I am strong enough to make it through.

There was no real reason for this entry. But I dont know when I dont see him I think about him all the time and I just thought maybe I should write down some of those thoughts. If anything I hope that this just inspired you that even us freaks can find love :) hahaha over and out~