wow, i never thought i'd have much use for some of the pointless information i have been writing about.

its all about me. me, me, me, me.

so what? i havent had anyone to talk to for a long time and my therapy sessions are a fucking joke. about a month ago my doc said she didnt have to see me for another 3 MONTHS. is she joking?

i was insane the whole of last year and suicidal and ringing the police and victims support to tell them about my arrest, flirtations with my old doc and being hospitalized for months....and my court case and false guilty. they said "wow, we cant help you sorry"

it was pointless so i made an official complaint against the psychiatric services i had been involved with. they did nothing but say......and this REALLY fucking burst my bubble and was so demeaning and condescending  and patronizing.... i quote "i think you have some strong feelings (sexual) towards ^%&* (the doctor)"

i could have flipped my lid.

it was him who opened up to me about his sex life and who refused to let me see a female doc or give me psychotherapy. I was pissed. so i went crazy. i became suicidal then i was on suicidal watch.

it wasnt like sinking into depression....i REALLY started hearing horrible voices.

"...brandishing military hardware in someone's home, and in response to a reported psychiatric crisis, boggles the imagination. It boggled mine, anyway."