so really i don't know if this will be my last post on this site. alots happened but in the scope of things nothings really changed. i've been off my meds for about a week now and my "symptoms" have i guess returned. i've finally been able to calm myself down enough to go through a day of "normality". a day without me talking to inanimate objects, the air, or looking for things that don't exist so i guess it's progress but the night is still very young. i was doing fine yesturday too until nightfall. i went to sleep and ended up having a nightmare i can't remember. i ended up hitting my mother across the face and cutting my arm on the lamp next to the bed. i went to the emergency room and the doctor told me it was a sleep disorder and that theyd have to put me back on meds and a whole new set of meds for my "condition". i really don't know how much more i can take of this. i was hoping to find help here on this site, to find someone like me that i could fight through this with. all of you are lovely people but i guess i needed more. i killed myself once and failed, i was grateful for the second chance (once i got older) but nothings changing nothings getting better, its just frustrating and i don't know if i can cope with this anymore. im just too tired of it. i don't know maybe i'm being overdramatic. i just don't know anymore. life is beautiful, but death is kinder.