hello, icarus project
Submitted by jupiter st. john on Tue, 02/13/2007 - 2:12amhi there,
a short introduction: my name is marissa. i am twenty years old, and i live in chicago. i moved here a year and a half ago (from ny) to attend college. i have been struggling with mental illness for nearly half my life; anorexia, bulimia, major depression, bipolar disorder, self-injury. there have been times when tradition treatment has been somewhat helpful, but i feel, like everyone here, that mental healthcare is failing so many people, in so many ways. i was drawn to the icarus project because i truly belive that we need a new discourse, and new language in which we discuss 'mental illness.' personally, i have never had a particularly horrific experience with a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist/etc. but i have been treated by multiple people who judged me, ignored my own thoughts about my problems, or simply acted as though prozac, depakote, sleep, and deep breathings would cure me. while these things are definitely (often immensely) helpful to some people, myself included, they are far from being cures. no one wanted to talk with me about mental illness as a social construction, employed in multiple oppressive ways. they did not want to hear my criticisms of big pharma, and the intense internal conflict about being helped by pills from corporations that, on the large scale, were doing incredible harm to a great many people. no one addressed the guilt i felt as a white, middle class female who had access to so many resources (albeit, mostly insufficient ones). they labeled my concern about the oppressive intersections of racism, classism, sexism, heterosexism that precluded MANY people from receiving even some sort of adequate, affordable mental healthcare, not to mention simple INFORMATION about the problems they are dealing with.
i have recently been having a difficult time with my personal problems. in and out of therapy and hospitals, for a variety of reasons. i've also had to take this quarter off from school to go home, think, talk, and heal. however, one of my sources of inspiration, when i return in march, is getting together a group of icarus project activist in chicago, possibly working in conjunction with the pomegranate radical health collective, to do outreach and other sorts of activist work.
if anyone is interested in starting this up with me, i would love for you to contact me with any ideas you might have. ideally, i will be in a better place and ready to start something.
Best wishes in your project and your life
Dear Jupiter,
I found your blog by searching the site for the word "guilt", as it is currently my main concern.
If I can offer some advice, I do so partly to convince myself to be receptive to it (I'm in a nasty guilt-trap myself):
Try not to be led into thinking that a middle-class background means you aren't entitled to experience your own suffering or to empathise with others.
We all know that material wealth isn't enough to make people happy. Nor is education or "intelligence". I don't think social status is, either. And if the elite are really to blame for monopolising power for themselves and having a fine time of things, why is it I still wouldn't fancy swapping places with Bush or the British royal family (for example)?
Combined with a small amount of guilt, though, wealth can seem to make a person very unhappy. But whatever harm power causes, we can do nothing good without power either.
If there is a purpose to guilt, it is as a clue to how to use our power "responsibly". The alternative is for it to block our power entirely.
I hope you'll be able to use your resources creatively, in spite of the inevitable attempts to turn them against you.
Hi Marissa,hope you enjoy
Hi Marissa,
hope youenjoy thesmall blogging community here.I'm sorry I can't be of any help on the local actvism front, living in Europe as I do, but there are a lot of people here who are concerned about the political aspect of mental illness and healthcare.
I think many people out there with our kind of affliction feel like having been singled out by fate for special punishment, or more likely by a supreme being demanding retribution for imaginarysins. Guilt-trippers are easy to exploit. And then there's the variousfeelings of socialinadequacy,difficulties with holding down a job, or having stablerelationships... more often than not, allthis amounts to pressure both from inside and outside to conform unquestioningly to mainstreamsociety's standards, no matter which state that society may be in.
Glad you've found this place. There's always some interesting discussions going on. I've learned a lot in the few days I've been here.
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Man's capacity for fooling himself tends towards infinite