faulty is definitley an understatement for my on/off switch.  i have to calculate it.  force myself to turn off or id keep going forever in a wild stream of crazy energy.  but i havent felt this way in so long.  as long as you keep things in moderation it doesnt get too disastrous, right?  i let it go.  i ran with it as deeply as i had the energy to.  it felt good.  like an old friend.  a reminder that that is something that will always exist inside of me.  that passion.  i just have to keep it in check.  i could run for days on this shit.  but logic says as much as i want to let myself fly to places that some can only dream about, i should really always make sure ive got both feet back on the ground by morning.

From my personal journals.

So I was involved in a fucked up love triangle with my best friend and his girlfriend for a very long time.  It messed with my head really bad, and helped send me spiraling into my first full blown manic episode.  I also have BPD, which definitley aggravated things. The first part  was written during a bad mushroom trip.  The next was written a few days later.  I was hospitalized for the first time about a month later.

The Facebook note I posted for my friends who saw me at my worst.  Who knows?

NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW.

Understanding the wind.

This morning, I learned of the Icarus Project.  I think that this is what I have been looking for all along.  A place where I can actually let myself show without being tossed aside as &q