Youthful and bright- when skipping madly down the hill
towards the oak trees and past the water mill
the green leaves, secret shells, and animal bones

I remember when I first got sick, it was like I woke up and decided I wanted nothing to do with the world anymore. I had just turned 15. I was at boarding school and none of my so called friends wanted to throw a party. My mom came to the school and I hadn't even known, she dropped off a painting of an angel watching over two kids on a cliff. Well that's just how I felt at the time, I was the girl on the edge just about to fall.

I don't know anymore.

I should not, though sometimes I do and then it gets me in trouble. I should not wrap my mind around such fantasies. I should not believe in them. They are not real.

Today is a beautiful day. Instead of focusing on my failures as I often can do, I'm going to focus on what's good. I'm feeling much better and clear since I got a good night's rest.