i don't even know what kind of day today is. i can't write poetry anymore. maybe i need to move on to stories again. but that requires energy. i don't think i am really depressed but i am sad.

i am just feeling bad, i missed the doctor and stayed in bathrobe and nightgown all day. j slept. he was up all night, i was up here and there, night and day.

i tried to post a song. i guess they won't load. hey in case anyone missed it, my music can be found on soundclick.com as project bluebird.

i have to make it to the doctor somehow an it is an hour drive there, usually a three hour ordeal all together. i am so sick of this boring health shit.